Who annoys you?

This is the 1st of a series of posts about inter-personal skills. Have you noticed anything in common between people that you don't like? Think of a child. Is this person like a child? Do they cut you off when you talk? Do they talk incessantly about themselves? Do they get irritated easily? Are they irresponsible and stubborn? I have made significant social and relational breakthroughs in relationships with my mother, my father, at least three of my close friends, and my ex-girlfriend by thinking of them as a young person. Their irritation makes sense, their fear makes sense, their desire to laugh makes sense, their self-centeredness makes sense. My dad isn't malicious, he just doesn't understand. Some of the akward people I meet on campus at my University aren't rude, they just don't know how to communicate with people outside their family. I imagine them like my 6-year old niece and act accordingly. I have become more understanding, less impatient, a more active listener, and I ask much better questions. All that is not to say I have become condescending; kids can sense a condescending attitude and don't like it any more than your boss would. But kids like to laugh, and my dad likes to laugh. Kids like to be heard, and my roommate just likes to be heard. Kids need to cry sometimes and I simply need to cry sometimes. Why do you think that when that person in your life flipped out that it was any different than a temper tantrum? People are more than children but never less than children. Its a fairly simple formula but a fairly powerful result. If I am right, you should have an easier time with understanding the people in your life who annoy you and a better time knowing how to behave. You should have both new insight and new actions. Look around and tell me what you see. Try it and tell me what happens.